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Filed in:Humor
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Udderly Humorous

January 16th, 2006  · stk

A Political Science Lesson Using 2 Cows

This crossed my desk today and I couldn't resist posting it. It made me chuckle. (That's worth something in my book). If you've seen it before, then please add me to your e-mail joke list, because I just don't get many good ones anymore. If you haven't seen it, then I hope you enjoy it. (I changed the first one a tad ... ).

cow

DEMOCRATIC
   You don't have any cows.
   Your neighbor has two cows.
   The government takes one fron the neighbor and gives it to you.
   After which, Barbara Streisand comes and sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
   You have two cows.
   Your neighbor has none.
   So?

SOCIALIST
   You have two cows.
   The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
   You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
   You have two cows.
   The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
   You wait in line for hours to get it.
   It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
   You have two cows.
   You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
   You have two cows.
   Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

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Updated: 27-Feb-2006
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California Wildfires

October 24th, 2007  · stk

Southern California wild fires have consumed 800 square miles and 1,600 homes. With ties to California, Vancouver Island, and fire fighting ... a unique perspective on the Southern California firestorms is offered (including video of the Martin Mars Bombers)

Santa Ana's | Martin Mars Bombers | Hollywood Sequel | A Proposal

Southern California continues efforts to battle massive wildfires. Weather forcasters have predicted that the strong winds fanning the flames, making firefighting impossible, will let up sometime this afternoon.

The final numbers won't be in for a while, but the current situation is: one dead, many injured, 1,600 homes lost and another 68,000 homes under threat. President Bush signed a document declaring the fires a "major disaster", releasing federal funds to help homeowners in seven affected counties. The president is expected to visit the region tomorrow.

Help is on the way from Canada, specifically Vancouver Island.

This fire season will be the most expensive in California's history. Each year the costs to fight these blazes has increased, the fires seem to become larger and the damage even greater. It's like a bad Hollywood movie sequel. What's Southern California to do?

Read on for a unique look at the Southern California situation, more detail and some recommendations that may surprise you.

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Updated: 8-Feb-2009
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Alex at Watch Lake

September 5th, 2008  · stk

Alex stayed with maternal grandparents, during our recent canoeing adventure on the Bowron Lakes. They took her camping to Watch Lake, in the southern Cariboo Mountains of central British Columbia (not too far from where we were). Alex went on her first horseback ride! See the nice photo scrapbook that her grandmother made for her (viewed in the new AstonishMe! Photo Gallery)

Grandparents Take Alex Camping

Mom and Dad couldn't have gone on their 6-day canoeing adventure on the Bowron Lakes Canoe Circuit if maternal grandparents hadn't been willing to look after Alex, during this time. Alex had fun in Vancouver, but it was the camping trip to Watch Lake, near 100-mile House, that Alex really enjoyed.

"Gran" and Grandpa took Alex in their Volkswagen Westfalia camping van to a recreation area in central British Columbia, just a few hours south of where Mom and Dad were canoeing on the Bowron Lakes. The area is in the Southern Cariboo Mountains and is renown for fishing, wildlife and contains a plethora of small lakes. Apparently, they've been visiting Watch Lake and staying at the Watch Lake Lodge cabins and/or campground, for years. It's the kind of place that fosters a long-term relationship with customers, reminding me of some of the summer resorts in Pennsylvania and Upstate New York.

Alex enjoyed swimming, horseback riding, campfires, playing with other kids, playing games, feeding the ducks, walking the dog, eating roasted marshmallows and a BUNCH of other things!

Her "Gran" took lots of pictures and made Alex a scrapbook of her time at Watch Lake. It was very well done and Alex decided she wanted to share it. (It doesn't hurt that my AstonishMe! mate, ¥åßßå, has nearly finished the alpha-release of a very spiffy bit of jQuery-based photo gallery code!)

To see Alex's scrapbook at Watch Lake (and a cool online photo gallery) ... sally forth!

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Updated: 21-Aug-2012
Web View Count: 61195 viewsLast Web Update: 21-Aug-2012

Olympic Torch Run

October 25th, 2009  · stk

There are 110 days till the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver, but the Olympic torch is on it's way to our little town of Cedar, British Columbia. Learn about the 2010 Olympic torch, the Canadian national torch run and more. If you can, come down and help celebrate the event with live entertainment, free hot-dogs and Halloween treats. (Olympic torch run map included)

Olympic Torch Arrives in Cedar on Oct 31st

There's 110 days to go before the start of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver, but the Olympic torch was lit, in Greece, on Thursday.

The torch run has begun. It's currently on a 7-day circuit through Greece. After that, it will be handed off to Vancouver 2010 officials and flown to Canada, where it will begin a 45,000-kilometer, 106-day trek across Canada.

The Olympic flame will be passing through our little hamlet of Cedar, British Columbia on Day 2 of its 106-day journey ... coming through town on Halloween (Oct 31st).

For more on the torch, maps & the Cedar celebration ... read on ...

More on the 2010 Olympic Torch Run

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Updated: 25-Oct-2009
Web View Count: 60506 viewsLast Web Update: 25-Oct-2009
Filed in:CSS
b2evo

PZ2 - How2

October 14th, 2005  · stk

Getting Photo-Caption Zoom (version 2) Up & Running on Your Site
(Instructions, Examples & Considerations)

In an effort to deflect a myriad of questions from readers who wanting to implement the pure-CSS photo/caption zoom (version 2) on their site - demonstrated with the photo here - I'm making this "How-to" guide. It contains the information needed to install and use it.

This photo/caption zoom technique is written to CSS 2.0 and XHTML 1.1 standards (which you can verify, using the validation buttons at the bottom of this page, if you so desire). It's been tested on both IE and FireFox. (Note: When IE7 comes out - which will support the :hover pseudo-class for all elements - the code will likely be re-written more succinctly).

PZ2 is the second version of "photo/caption zoom". This newer version overlays the text (eliminating 'text and element migration'), it allows larger images to be displayed on a page (because the image can overlay menu items and other DIVS) and it has some built-in display toggles (you can turn the caption on/off, for example). All that good stuff, unfortunately, comes at a price. The code is longer, more complex and therefore, trickier to use. (Hence the need for this tutorial.)

If you're new to the "photo/caption zoom" method displayed here, it's recommended that you read "CSS Photo-Caption Zoom" to start. It provides a history behind its development, as well as a demonstration of various 'photo zoom' techniques.

If you just want to get PZ2 working on your page (special instructions for b2evolution users), by all means, READ ON ...

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Updated: 26-Feb-2006
Web View Count: 59800 viewsLast Web Update: 26-Feb-2006